My husband is a fixer and needs help?

My husband of 16 years is a fixer. From the time he was small, his mom was a fixer and helped people she had no responsibility to help and taught him that is the right thing to do. when it came to him however, no matter how well he did something she would always complain and pick it apart and was physically abusive to him as well. He had a lady he called Grandma that lived in the same town and when he was a baby she began to babysit him. She loved him very much and for most of his life he bounced from his mom to his grandmas house and soon his mom and grandma hated one another but his grandma was taking on responsibility that was not hers. He was the oldest child at home and had a premie sister that he had to watch over and 3 little brothers as well when his mom worked. He relates to people with abused past and feel an irresistable urge to try and help them and give them what they need. I was troubled when we got together and so was my daughter and he did everything he could to fix us. Throughout our relationship, I have become stronger, our daughter has become stronger and at this point in life we are not troubled any longer. My husband has had online affairs with troubled women while married to me which was difficult to deal with and forgive but I did so. last week he told me he kissed his boss at work who he has always said wonderful things about but she too has alot of emotional and even health problems. I started doing research on the need to fix others and found that it is an emotional problem and a learned behaviour. My husband says he hasn't been in love with me for a long time but feels deep love for me as his best friend. he has also agreed to go to counseling to try to learn how to resist the urge to help and set some boundaries. He says he doesn't know if he wants our relationships and can't trust himself to make any decisions right now. I am helplessly in love with him and am on an emotional roller coaster and bouncing around all the stages of grief and loss. First I was blind with anger and made him leave the house, then 2 days later wanted all his belongings out of the house and when he got here I sobbed like a child on and off and we ended up talking until he had to leave which broke my heart all over again. Now I am trying to justify and tell myself that if he gets the help he needs then maybe someday we can be together again but for right now I just feel done and want his ghost to just go away. I'm a smart, independent woman with a professional job and don't need him to financially support me. However he makes very little money and can't afford to pay all his bills. I have agreed to keep him on my insurance so he can get counseling and give him a little money each month to keep him afloat. I feel I owe that to him for all the support he gave me while in school and then at the same time I get angry because while i was in school he detached from me and ended up attaching to two different women on the internet, we separted then and got back together after I , on my own, bought a house. Its just such a crazy mess and wonder if anyone in the entire world has dealt with something this specific when it comes to being with a man who attaches himself to "helpless" women and says he can't help himself. As I said, all but his latest, his boss was on the internet. He did kiss his boss though so for this one, its physical and emotional cheating. Also, how can I ever trust him again when I already have reservations in that area anyhow? This is so messed up!!!